Your job could be … “just Beach.”
Those who have seen the “Barbie” movie — or at least the memes online — are aware of what Ken’s professed occupation is.
Here’s your chance to follow his lead.
Coco Collection has opened up a job listing allowing one applicant to live like Ken, played by Ryan Gosling, who in the Greta Gerwig film declares that his job is not surfer or even lifeguard — it’s “just Beach.”
The role is for Coco Bodu Hithi resort in the Maldives, and the lucky employee will be flown out and take on the job of “Beach” for 10 days “with a partner or Allan of their choosing.”
They will also get the benefits of a “full board meal plan,” return flights, no actual responsibilities and one massage each since toiling as “Beach” for 10 days “is tiring work.”
While the job seems pretty straightforward, there are still some requirements to prove you’re Kenough for the first-of-its-kind role.
In addition to simply wanting to pursue their passion of the beach, applicants must also meet the following criteria:
- Ability to stand proudly in the sand
- Empty their head of all thoughts
- Hold and lean on a surfboard
- Have their rollerblades with them at all times (though good luck using them on the sandy beaches of the island…)
- Be comfortable performing a moody solo musical number and/or group dance sequence
- Know the words to “Push” by Matchbox Twenty by heart
- Proficient at guitar
- Have at least two pairs of sunglasses at all times
- Spend endless hours staring out over the Indian Ocean
- Keep track of the morning waves
- Have 60 years experience as “Beach” (preferred but not essential)
Applicants should note that just like the real world, this job doesn’t have it all it excludes:
- Surfing dangerous waves because, as Ken has said, “shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize”
- Any of the sort of spirituality that comes with surfing
- Horses, or the patriarchy — but Kens aren’t interested anyway since “horses are just men extenders”
- Any real world stress or actual work
- Lifeguard responsibilities
- Medical training
- Beach-offs (strictly due to health & safety reasons)
The lucky applicant who gets hired for the role will also get a slew of benefits, including their own Dream Beach House or a Mojo Dojo Casa House — their choice.
They’ll also get a “guaranteed” tan and “perfect hair at Beach’s discretion,” though no official uniform but access to an entire wardrobe of accessories, unlimited time for socializing and perfect weather, all the time.
Prospective applicants need to submit 150 words explaining why they would be so good at “Beach.” They must be over the age of 18 and be a registered resident of the UK — though no prior experience is required.
Applications are currently open and will close on Aug. 31 at 12 p.m. BST (6 a.m. EST).
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