Between the upcoming release of the fourth Expendables movie and the Netflix documentary Sly, this fall is shaping up to be the Season of Stallone. But really, the Rocky and Rambo star is an actor for all seasons. For ’80s kids like myself, Sylvester Stallone was a fixture on movie theater marquees and at the video store — remember those? — and I could always count on finding a Stallone vehicle that would jibe with my particular mood.
And, for the record, those vehicles weren’t always Rocky or Rambo movies. While those two characters have defined Stallone’s career, he’s ably flexed his muscles in other genres, from musical comedies to father/son stories that somehow make room for wild arm wrestling matches. Maybe some of those movies weren’t major success stories, but they still offered young and old Stallone fans the opportunity to see a different side of Sly.
For our latest Yahoo Picks column, this Sly-spert is choosing the six non-franchise Stallone movies guaranteed to hit you where you’re currently living. Just like the Italian Stallion’s southpaw hook, you won’t see some of these coming.
If you want to hit the road with your dad… Over the Top
I was nine years old when Over the Top made its way into multiplexes, and to this day it remains the Stallone movie I’ve seen the most times in theaters. Sure, the arm wrestling sequences — powered by that amazingly ’80s soundtrack — were the main attraction back in the day, and those matches were absolutely recreated on the school playground. (Minus the motor oil guzzling, natch.) But the relationship between Stallone’s trucker, Lincoln Hawk, and his twerpy tween son, Mike, was the thing I hooked into. At that point in his career, Sly’s fatherly moments mainly consisted of saying goodbye to Rocky Jr. before going off to punch Clubber Lang or Ivan Drago, so watching him go on a cross-country road trip with a kid not that much older than myself was a strange kind of wish-fulfillment. When I took my own kid on a recent road trip, you’d better believe we cued up “Winner Takes It All.”
Over the Top is available to stream on Tubi, Prime Video, Pluto TV and Roku Channel or for rent/purchase on iTunes.
If you want a history lesson… Nighthawks
I’ve been a New Yorker for over twenty years now, but I never experienced the city as it was in the ’70s and ’80s. That’s why I’m a sucker for any movie that captured that long-vanished version of the Big Apple, from Taxi Driver to The Warriors. Shot in the winter of 1980, Nighthawks preserves all the hallmarks of that era — the graffiti-covered subway cars, the Boogie Down Bronx and the hedonistic after-hours nightclubs. And Stallone’s bearded NYPD detective absolutely fits into the tradition of cinematic cops like Pacino’s Serpico and Hackman’s Popeye Doyle. Funnily enough, Nighthawks started its life as a French Connection sequel, but it works better as the missing link between Stallone’s own ’70s and ’80s period.
Nighthawks is available for rent/purchase on Amazon and Vudu.
If you’ve got a song in your heart… Rhinestone
It’s easy — too easy — to beat up on Rhinestone for its clunky fish out of water comedy, casual misogyny and truly bizarre storytelling choices. But seeing Stallone and Dolly Parton sing together? Priceless. The ultimate odd couple performs four numbers together during the course of the film, and each of them gives off irresistible “drunken karaoke party” energy. It helps that Dolly and Sly seem to genuinely enjoy other’s company, and her actual singing prowess fills in the gaps caused by his boisterously off-tune vocal patterns. Pro tip: Watch Rhinestone on a double bill with the Stallone-directed Saturday Night Fever sequel, Staying Alive, and you’ll be strutting on air.
Rhinestone is available on DVD from Amazon.
If you want to chase away your vertigo… Cliffhanger
The movie that single-handedly revived Stallone’s action career is also one of the best “Die Hard on a Blank” pictures of the ’90s. In keeping with John McClane, climber Gabe Walker is maybe Stallone’s most vulnerable action hero, haunted by a past failure and beaten up by the elements as much as the movie’s human villains. Cliffhanger is reportedly getting a latter-day sequel, but it’ll be hard to scale the same heights Sly achieved in 1993, lifting us all out of our collective depth of despair caused by Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.
Cliffhanger is streaming on Netflix or for rent/purchase on Amazon and Vudu.
If you want to understand the memes… Assassins
Antonio Banderas’s iconic laptop reaction is all of us when we see the list of talent involved in the story of two assassins who target… each other. You’ve got Stallone, Banderas, Julianne Moore onscreen, Richard Donner behind the camera and the Wachowskis and Brian Helgeland handling script duties. (To be fair, the Wachowskis have essentially disowned the finished film, saying their script was completely rewritten.) Truthfully, the movie itself is strictly B-list compared to that A-list roster, but there’s still a certain charm to this ’90s time capsule that can power 21st century digital memes.
Assassins is available for rent/purchase on Amazon and Vudu.
If you like to keep it old school… Bullet to the Head
Walter Hill and Sly never worked together in their VHS heyday, but the duo belatedly rectified that oversight with an action movie that’s as blunt and to the point as its title. While it may have been released in 2012, Bullet to the Head absolutely has its heart and head in the ’80s, when it would have flown off the shelves at Blockbuster. Meanwhile, that trim 90-minute runtime is an antidote to Hollywood’s current age of blockbuster bloat and lets you get on with your day… of watching more Stallone movies.
Bullet to the Head is streaming on Max or for rent/purchase on Apple TV and Vudu.
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