However big a Swiftie you think you are, you have nothing on comedian Nikki Glaser. The stand-up and roast dais veteran revealed to fill-in Jimmy Kimmel Live! host and fellow joke slinger Kumail Nanjiani on Thursday night (July 11) that not only has she seen Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour show 17 times over the past 15 months, but she has also never once taken a bathroom break during all that time.
In fact, Glaser said she had just returned from her latest hop over to Europe the day before after attending her latest Eras show. “I was on break from tour and I was seeing Taylor Swift. That’s what I do with my free time,” Glaser told Nanjiani about her latest jaunt in which she five shows in 10 days. “Europe just happened to be there while she was there,” Glaser joked.
The self-proclaimed Swiftie explained that when she has weekends off from her own Alive and Unwell tour she flies wherever she needs to for a “Florida!!!” fix. “I’m like a divorced dad doing his best to see daughter… she has no idea who I am but I’m just the biggest fan.” Glaser has no idea if Swift even knows who she is, though she suspects Taylor might since the Roast of Tom Brady star talks about her favorite singer all the time.
Trying to keep up, Nanjiani noted that he’s also a Swiftie, though he’s only seen the tour once, “like a normal person,” holding up a pic of himself at a show in which he rocks several friendship bracelets. Nanjiani said he gets why Glaser is obsessed by the positive vibe at the shows, but looked shocked at the 17-gig figure as the audience let out a gasp at the gaudy figure.
“I know, I know! I’m addicted,” Glaser, 40, said, unapologetically describing the “surge of dopamine” she gets from the concerts. “For me it’s either that or cocaine and luckily I can afford both,” she quipped. Glaser said she realizes her show count is “excessive” and can’t explain her fascination, other than to note that when the tour was first announced she was determined to go to every show.
Realizing that might be weird, she decided to go to just two or three until her boyfriend reminded her that she works so hard and loves Taylor so much that he encouraged Glaser to go to as many shows as possible.
If you’ve gotten this far and none of this blows your mind, peep this: Glaser said despite the sometimes nearly four-hour show length, she prides herself on “never once” going to the bathroom during the more than 60 hours she’s logged at the concerts. “For whatever reason my body is just like, ‘you’re not gonna do that like right now… it’s probably what her body does during it,” Glaser speculated. “I don’t think she has time to go so I kind of like set my rhythms to hers.”
When Nanjiani asked if at some point Glaser might tap the breaks, the comedian said she, in fact, plans to see more Eras Tour shows. “I thought it might happen but it hasn’t yet at 17,” she said of tapping out. “I just feel like this is a time where I just have to see someone who is one of the best performers who’s ever lived,” she explained, comparing seeing Swift to the modern-day equivalent of having attended a Beatles show.
“I want to just see it as much as possible, it’s the thing that makes me happiest in the world,” she said. Glaser also mentioned that her dad does not like the Beatles comparison, then cued up a clip of her pops “crying like a baby” at an Eras show she took him to in Europe. Nanjiani then lightly roasted Glaser for her obsession, busting out some research on the other things she could have done with those 60+ hours, including: getting a helicopter pilot’s license, watched all five seasons of Breaking Bad and get CPR certification 30 times.
Watch Glaser talk Eras Tour on Kimmel below.
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