Vanessa Lachey Cries at ‘S—‘ She Resolved to ‘Be the Best’ for Nick

Vanessa Lachey is reflecting on what she overcame to become the “best” wife to husband Nick.

During the sixth episode of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On season 2, the NCIS: Hawaiʻi star, 42, teared up as she described how therapy helped to move forward and built a strong bond with her husband and co-host Nick.

“Nick and I have been together for 16 years and we know each other — married for 11 — but it’s so funny that for some reason we don’t learn more about each other until we’re in, like, a therapy session,” she explained. “And the reason why I’m choking up is because I’ve had to get through so much s— to be the best woman for him.”

Vanessa shared that she was able to confide in her husband of 12 years about her concerns, telling the contestants, “Every single issue we had, every issue I brought up — to find that person, that I can trust and that can carry me through is what made us unstoppable.”

She added that it’s “so freeing to tell everything” to someone and still have them there to “pick you up.”

“It’s really beautiful,” she concluded. “And if they don’t, which I’ve had other guys who have done that — they’re not the guy I married.”

In honor of their wedding anniversary last month, the 98 Degrees singer, 49, looked back on all that’s happened since saying “I do” — thanks to their “beautiful life together with three amazing kids” (sons Phoenix, 6, and Camden, 10, and daughter Brooklyn, 8).

“Vanessa, not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for your love, your patience, your understanding, your fight and determination, your support, and your willingness to always work through the tough times,” he wrote alongside photos from their wedding day. “While we don’t always have it all figured out, nor claim to, we know that together we can find our way.”

“I love you baby!! Thanks for twelve incredible, exciting, unpredictably wonderful years together. Here’s to many, many more……” he continued.

Vanessa kept things silly while toasting their love, as she uploaded a video that featured an aging filter and was underscored by Adam Sandler‘s “Grow Old with You” from The Wedding Singer.

In the clip, the duo smiled big and laughed together, with Nick looking surprised to see a few extra wrinkles added to his face.

Vanessa captioned the sweet post: “17 years together, 12 married! I LOVE growing old with you! Happy Anniversary, Baby! 👵🏽❤️👴🏼”

The couple tied the knot on July 15, 2011, on Sir Richard Branson’s private Necker Island in the Caribbean. In the years since, the duo have been busy raising their three little ones as they keep viewers entertained on The Ultimatum and Love Is Blind, which they’ve been co-hosts on since 2020.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

The season 2 finale and reunion of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On drops Wednesday on Netflix.