Selena Gomez and Francia Raisa‘s friendship has had ups and downs — but the downs “had nothing to do with the kidney.”
Raisa supported Gomez at the Rare Impact Fund benefit on Oct. 4, and addressed what she called “rocky and tricky” times they’ve had in their decade-plus friendship. In 2017, Raisa memorably donated a kidney to Gomez, who has lupus. They had a falling out after, but have found their way back to each other again.
“Relationships change,” Raisa admitted. “I don’t know any relationship that’s perfect.” And while they had a “situation” come up, “I am happy that we are here today, celebrating and supporting each other.”
We look back at how they became friends, bonded over organ donation, fell apart and came back together.
2007: They meet doing charity work.
Gomez was the star of Disney Channel’s Wizards of Waverly Place and Raisa was cast in ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager when they both visited Children’s Hospital Los Angeles to spend time with the patients.
“[Selena] was in my group,” Raisa later told Extra. “She came up to me and was like, ‘My mom had a teenage pregnancy, she was 16 years old, and we love your show.’ I was like, ‘Oh, my God, thank you! I love your show.’ We started talking, we both had boyfriends at the time, we started kiki-ing.”
2008: A friendship grows.
“We just clicked,” Raisa later told Latina of their bond, which included navigating their romantic relationships.
She told Extra, “Around the time that my boyfriend and I broke up, and her and her boyfriend broke up,” perhaps referring to Gomez and Nick Jonas. “She called me and was like, ‘I am going through some stuff… I am going through a breakup.’ I was like, ‘Girl, me, too,’ and we were just inseparable after that ever since.”
They started being each other’s plus-one at events — like when Raisa accompanied Gomez to the Justin Bieber: Never Say Never premiere a few years later. (We assume they had many heart-to-hearts during Gomez’s Bieber era.) They also supported each other’s work, and made cute dance videos.
2012: They become chosen family.
“I love [Gomez] to death,” Raisa told Wetpaint that year. “She’s my sister, and she is one of the sweetest girls I know. She is so caring and so loving and so nurturing. She’s awesome. I don’t know where she came from.”
In a social media tribute to Gomez, Raisa wrote, “Met you when you were 15 and u became family to me when you were 16. Since then you have changed my life and I’ve become a better person.”
Gomez gave Raisa “a sister is a forever friend” necklace.
2015: Gomez reveals her lupus diagnosis.
The actress publicly shared her health struggle. At the time, she canceled a tour to receive chemo treatments for the disease.
Gomez honored Francia on her birthday, saying, “You have been there through so many phases of life with me. The only thing I want you to know is how much I value YOU. You are more than you realize. I love you.”
2017: Raisa donates a kidney to Gomez.
Gomez has a kidney transplant over the summer due to lupus — and Raisa is her donor.
“There aren’t words to describe how I can possibly thank my beautiful friend Francia,” Gomez said when she shared the news. “She gave me the ultimate gift and sacrifice by donating her kidney to me. I am incredibly blessed. I love you so much sis.” Raisa said she was “beyond grateful that God would trust me with something that not only saved a life, but changed mine in the process… Love you sis, so glad we’re on this journey together.”
They give a joint interview on the Today show that fall. Gomez said, “I didn’t want to ask a single person in my life” to be the donor. The thought of asking someone to do that was really difficult for me. [Francia] volunteered and did it. And let alone someone wanting to volunteer, it is incredibly difficult to find a match. The fact that she was a match, I mean that’s unbelievable. That’s not real.”
When Gomez was named Billboard’s 2017 Woman of the Year and brought Raisa as her guest. In her acceptance speech she said, through tears: “I think Francia should be getting this award. She saved my life… I feel incredibly lucky.”
2018: Raisa reveals she and Gomez went through depression after transplant.
Raisa got candid about post-surgery struggles in multiple interviews. She told W, “Recovery was hard,” as she couldn’t move for two months. She told Self, “Selena and I both went through a depression.”
In an interview with Harry Connick Jr., Raisa said being Gomez’s donor made them family for life. “[Selena] felt bad about even having me do that because we are just friends — I am not her family or anything,” she said. “Well, I am now. She has my blood.”
Gomez sought mental health treatment for depression and anxiety. She later revealed her bipolar disorder diagnosis.
2019: Gomez and Raisa get matching tattoos.
In an interview with Capital FM, Gomez reveals that she and Francia got June 19th ink to mark the date of the transplant. “I actually got the date of when I got my kidney transplant — and I did that with the girl that gave me her kidney,” she told the outlet.
At some point around this time, they had a falling out. The rumor mill ran wild with speculation about why they severed ties, but neither directly spoke about it publicly. Because they had been so close, the silence was deafening.
2021: Gomez and Raisa mark World Kidney Day.
While fans continue to speculate about their friendship status, Raisa shared her experience as a donor. She wrote on social media: “While I wasn’t affected personally by kidney disease, I’ve seen the impacts of it firsthand and want to do my part to help educate others on it. In honor of World Kidney Day, let’s talk about the impact of kidney disease and how we can work to ensure those living with kidney disease are living well.” Gomez shared the post, adding, “Thank you for blessing me, I am forever grateful to you.”
2022: Raisa unfollows Gomez on social media.
Fans were delighted when they seemed to have made amends, appearing together in a TikTok and joking about drama.
Soon after, Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me doc about her mental health journey came out and Raisa wasn’t included.
An interview Gomez did with Rolling Stone, in which she said Taylor Swift was her “only friend in the industry,” escalated everything. Raisa reacted to seeing Gomez’s quote, writing — and then deleting — the comment “interesting” after seeing it on E! News‘s Instagram. Gomez responded in a TikTok comment section, “Sorry I didn’t mention every person I know.”
Raisa unfollowed Gomez on Instagram.
2023: They make up.
Gomez called Raisa her “best friend” while talking about the transplant in Dear… “She said, ‘No, I am absolutely getting tested [to see if she was a match],'” Gomez recalled. “And within three days, she went to get tested, and she was a match. And it was one of those moments where I felt watched over. I know I was so so so lucky.” She also said she feels “in debt” to her friend.
Raisa said she’s getting hate comments online over the friendship drama with Gomez.
Gomez posts a tribute to Raisa on her birthday calling her a “special human being.”
Raisa followed Gomez on Instagram again.
Raisa denied being “forced” to donate her kidney to Gomez. “It just came out of the genuine kindness of my heart, and I’ve been super blessed ever since,” she said on the Good Guys podcast.
They both rock the same shoes on a night out, sharing photos to social media, writing, “No beef, just salsa.”
Gomez’s Rare Impact Fund holds its gala and Raisa attends. She confirmed during a red carpet interview that they had a rift in the past, but they’ve made up.
“We trauma-bonded, which is beautiful, but also it can get rocky and tricky,” Raisa told Extra. “People grow, relationships change. Obviously, I treat her like my little sister, she treats me like her older sister… I don’t know any relationship that’s perfect… When our situation came up… No, I never pictured that, but obviously I never regretted it. I am happy that we are here today, celebrating and supporting each other.”
As for their falling out — and then reconciliation, she said, “Sometimes … people need to spend time apart in order to grow. We had to almost go on our own journey and grow.” Now, that they’re older — Gomez is 30 and Raisa is 35 — they come back together as grown women. “We can get to know each other again.”
Raisa added that for inquiring minds, “Just for the record, it had nothing to do with the kidney.” Also, she notes that while their matching silver gowns were not planned, they did go get spray tans together prior to the gala.
Read more
